Chapter 15

Maren slumped down in the chair opposite Icarus with a groan. He lifted his head off his folded arms atop his desk and blinked at her. Everything hurt and he would love to vomit out the window if his legs could carry him to it. He settled instead for a deep breath and a stomach-turning gulp of water from the glass one of them had remembered to pour—Maren, most likely. Icarus was hardly so responsible. 

He sighed and met her eyes—the left more ugly and greenish than it had been in his last hazy memory of her face. He rolled his shoulders and winced at the bruising in his ribs, the back of his head, and effectively everywhere. Between them, they made up one whole and unharmed person. Together, they were each half-dead from drink and a thorough clerical ass-kicking. 

“Right,” he clapped his hands together and Maren winced. “How are we feeling on our first excommunicated morning?”

“Your first excommunicated morning,” Maren croaked. “I renounced.”

“Tomato, tomato.”

“That’s not- you just said tomato twice.”

He rolled his eyes but the door opened before he could retort and Edith poked her head in, “A good morrow to you, Fathers. Coffee’s on and I’m about to- Pale Sons and Daughters, what happened to you?!” She was in the office inspecting Maren’s face without waiting for an invitation, tutting her concern, “I’ll get the medical kit. Neither of you move. Was it a fight? Did Icarus rile those Austrians again?”

It wasn’t a real question, she was working through her own theories as she opened cabinets in the kitchenette. Icarus grumbled to himself, “It was one time and I regretted it immediately, the Black Dog never let me back in. Terribly inconvenient.”

Edith tended to Maren’s eye first with a smear of sweet-smelling ointment and a stinging antiseptic blotted on a cloth pad. She inspected and cleaned the cut at the back of Icarus’s head and he begrudgingly allowed it, too hungover to fight and confident he would lose to the elderly woman if he tried. She confirmed his ribs were merely bruised with an agonizing pres of her fingers and took a long look at his bleary eyes.

“You,” she swatted his arm and he cried out, “should not have been drinking with a head wound! And you,” she thrust an accusing finger to Maren, who shrank under the sharpness of her stare, “should not have let him.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they uttered in unison. 

Hands on her hips, she pursed her lips, “I’ll get you coffees and pop to the shops for a bite. No active work today, paperwork only. I’ll handle dispatching notes to clients. I mean it, Icarus. Rest your head and drink water.”

An hour later, Icarus felt his humanity slowly returning thanks to the balm of bitter black coffee and a well-stuffed pastry full of piping hot eggs and good pork sausage. He patted his stomach, forgetting for a moment he regretted about his bruising, and leaned back. Maren blotted crumbs from her mouth and folded her hands on his desk.

“We should talk about it.”

His sated expression spoiled into a frown. She was right, but he had hoped to avoid it for a little longer, “Aye. I believe we should.”

“What the fuck-”

“What the fuck.”

“Right. That’s out of the way,” Maren eased to her feet with a grimace. “I don’t even know where to start. I suppose… do you want to start?”

He blinked up at her and cocked his head, “Explain.”

She gripped the back of the chair and held him with a hard stare, “We don’t have to look into this anymore. We can let it go. Let the Church handle the Church, we’re not obligated to them now. We can do what we like. If you’d like to drop this and let it go, we can.”

He hadn’t considered that. It was all such a disaster—the Inquisitor held prisoner, his father still alive trapped in some mystical gaol, all the Azure Prince nonsense, a Church keeping its people afraid instead of doing its job. There were so many threads he hardly knew where to start untangling them. 

Maren was right, though. He could just… not. He could put all of it down and let whatever was happening with the Church be the Church’s problem. With a heavy sigh, however, he knew that was never going to happen. For a time, they might pretend not to think about it, but it would never last. Neither of them were wired for it. 

Besides, after fifteen years of lying to him about his father, Icarus would enjoy being the excommunicated priest who tossed a wrench in the Church’s spokes. He shook his head, “No, Mare. I don’t think we can.”

Her shoulders fell in a picture of relief and she nodded, “Agreed. So. Where do we want to tug first?”

“We can tick the Inquisitor off the list. He’s dead, we’ve done what we can, if they replace him with another then so be it. What we can do,” he got to his feet and stared at the pair of file boxes on his sideboard, “is go back through it all and see if we can parse out anything about a gaol.”

They uncapped the boxes and began pouring over the same files they had poured over for days. Icarus sifted through others in their hall closet, Maren pulled in a few from her office, and they sent Edith to the bookseller for anything she could find about the history of faerie gaols. Banned as he was from every Church establishment, Icarus wasn’t keen to try his luck with the college quite yet. 

***

The clouds took on the dull steel of late afternoon by the time Icarus slumped back against the wall and threw a handful of papers across the carpet, “This is useless and stupid.”

“Agreed,” Maren set down a file and leaned back on her hands, “but what else is there? Where else is there to look?”

He thought for a long moment and stared intently at the various case details. It was connected, he could feel it singing in his bones—Eilonwy, the abhartach, the Inquisitor, Daedalus—but he couldn’t see how. Too many pieces were still missing and the only way he would find them was to figure out where this gaol housing his not-dead father was. His father who had adopted an obsession with pulling apart every thread that made up the fae realm, the Veil, all of it in the valiant quest to save humanity from the Rot-inducing netherism and ensure the Pale God became the only god. 

He hated what he was about to suggest. It had been a decade and a half since he’d set foot there, but it was paid in full and he had his own flat long before Daedalus had disappeared. There was never a need to go back unless he wanted to. 

He had never wanted to.

He draped his arm over a bent knee and flexed his hand, tensing into a fist once and again. The bones still carried the residual cold of the Inquisitor’s grip, “There’s his house.”

Maren paused and lifted her head. He never told her he’d kept the place, taken the deed in his name when the estate lawyer dispensed the last will and testament of his father. He wouldn’t meet her face and stared at the blank cover of a haphazard folder. 

“I can go alone,” she offered too gently for his liking. “You don’t need to go back there.”

He shook his head and ran a hand through his unkempt hair with a note to get it trimmed before it tangled beyond repair, “No, I think I do. We’ll go in the morning and see what we find. It’s the only place left.”

He saw her nod in the corner of his eye and bring herself to her feet. She bent backwards in a brutal stretch, “Meet here in the morning after breakfast, then we’ll get on with it.”

She didn’t wait for his answer and turned to leave, he caught the sound of her office door clicking shut and made himself rise. Joints protesting, he ran through a series of stretches to pop everything back to life before dimming the desklamp and heading through reception.

Edith raised her head and smiled, “Off for the evening then?”

“Going for a walk to clear my head. Head home anytime you like,” he nodded his farewell, too distracted to catch whatever she murmured when he descended the steps. 

He shrugged on his heavy coat and headed out into the bitter cold of an evening coming on too soon. Icarus walked without purpose, meandering the city and taking none of it in. He’d hoped he would think and reason and logic through some of it, but pain and hangover still stuffed his head like cotton. A persistent buzzing at the back of his mind droned over any half-formed thoughts and

Dearest Inner Circle and Producer level subscribers, did you know that one of the perks of your subscription is that you can suggest titles for the You Can Sit with Us Book Club?!?

It's true!

I've picked the first few month's titles myself as membership has been building, but it's time to reach out and see what YOU want to read.

The book club will be alternating between contemporary romance and fantasy/fantasy romance. We'll be reading a fantasy title in December and contemporary romance in January.

Leave your suggestions in the comments of this post!

Thanks for your support as a paid subscriber!

We are well and truly into fall, friends. This month's reading was, unfortunately, mostly mid with a couple of all time greats sprinkled in. My favorites are starred. Books marked with a * were gifted to me, and books marked with a ^ I was paid to read.

What You Learn Learning Music^

The True Confessions Of First Lady Freeman by Deesha Philyaw*

Broken Healer by David M. Berry^

More Like Enemigas by Stephanie Hope*

⭐ Coffeeshop In An Alternate Universe by C.B. Lee*

⭐ The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook by Matt Dinniman (reread)

One Of His by Alina Bellchambers^

If I Could Go Back by Briana Johnson*

⭐ Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova

Wisdom On The Rocks by Michael Penn^

She's A Doll by Barbara Truelove*

The Nerd Reich: Silicon Valley Fascism And The War On Democracy by Gil Durán*

⭐ Long Division by Kiese Laymon

A Few Rules For Predicting The Future: An Essay by Octavia E. Butler

⭐ Redshirts: A Novel With Three Codas by John Scalzi

Cold In Mississippi: A Memoir Of The Human Soul In Medicine by Dwaine Rieves^

Now, what's on deck for October? Truthfully, a lot of carryovers I didn't get to in September (summaries via The Storygraph):

Punished by Ann-Helén Laestadius* - A harrowing story inspired by true events of five Indigenous children forced to attend a government-run boarding school in 1950s Sweden, revealing the emotional scars they carry thirty years later.

One Word, Six Letters by Adib Khorram* - Two teen boys grapple with identity and accountability and set off a ripple effect within their community after a school assembly is disrupted by a shouted slur.

The Four Wives And Five Deaths Of Richard Milford by Nafissa Thompson-Spires* - A sly, spry, literary debut novel about the murder of an infamous moonshiner and the cacophony of true stories a small town can tell about itself.

There Is No Antimemetics Division by qntm* - Humanity is under assault by malevolent "antimemes"—ideas that attack memory, identity, and the fabric of reality itself—in this wickedly brainbending tale of science-fiction horror, an entirely reimagined and expanded version of the beloved online novel.

One Yellow Eye by Leigh Radford* - In this heart-wrenching and unique spin on the zombie mythos, a brilliant scientist desperately searches for a cure after a devastating epidemic while also hiding a monumental secret—her undead husband.

Now, you know I can't help myself and am compelled to build impossible TBRs. So why don't we add two more to that stack?

Honey by Imani Thompson* - A dark, provocative, adrenaline-rush of a novel about a graduate student who murders bad men and justifies it in the name of feminism, by a bold new voice in fiction.

Someone You Can Build A Nest In by John Wiswell - Shesheshen is a shapeshifter, who happily resides as an amorphous lump at the bottom of a ruined manor. When her rest is interrupted by impolite monster hunters, she constructs a body from the remains of past meals. Shesheshen’s nursed back to health by Homily, a warm-hearted human. Just as Shesheshen’s about to confess her identity, Homily reveals something else: she’s hunting a shapeshifting monster that supposedly cursed her family. Has Shesheshen seen it anywhere?

I'm taking several current reads into October with me: Lost Boi by Sassafras Lowrey (October's Spicy Book Club pick), Westward Women by Alice Martin*, City of Others by Jared Poon*, and The Gate of the Feral Gods by Matt Dinniman (reread).

To be perfectlyyyy honest though, The Disappearers by Marlon James is calling to me, so a lot of this might get swept aside for that brick of a novel. Who knows? Not me! Stay tuned to find out!

I can't believe I'm saying this but tomorrow bookstore ordering opens for 2027 Indie Bookstore Day exclusive and free items.

I can't do preorders for the items but I can at least gauge interest in certain items.

Please email me: info@deathbytbrbooks.com ASAP and I'll email you the catalog.

They always do this right before the holiday season when sales are low and only sent it to me a few days ago. <3

You win some you lose some. I found this hilarious. I've tried with baking powder and coffee creamer and neither have worked. Enjoy the fails. 😭

https://youtube.com/shorts/6rVx2nA9nWg?si=ub1pIC1Gicn4QUUu

Tuesday might be our favorite day of the week! Here are some titles releasing today that we think you should add to your TBR (to be read) shelf.

Let us know in the comments which book release you are most excited for or which release you are grabbing today that's not mentioned!

Hello there traveling readers!

How is it already the end of September already? Crazy how time flies! October is shaping up to be a month jam packed with fall favorites and events I can't wait!

In September I had four new blog posts-

Two NYC neighborhoods- Flushing, Queens and Washington Heights, Manhattan

I also posted a guide to Bookish Las Vegas and Bookish Dublin which went a bit viral over on instagram.

Did you know that if you upgrade your membership to $5 a month you get access to all my digital maps?

I will continue to offer my blog posts as free guides- but your monthly support really does help me keep this going plus I think access to the digital maps is a pretty cool benefit!

For my NYC Readers-

Here are the links for the October Events! Posting them before I go to socials- so register for early bird tickets while you still can (PS- I do post these links on Discord as soon as I confirm things so if you want the best chance for early bird tickets make sure you are on there!)

October Craft Event- Diamond Painting Bookmarks! One of my most requests crafts!

https://luma.com/e1ft6zg0

October Book Club- Discussing How to Kill a Guy in Ten Dates (a rom com X slasher that I have been told is not too scary!) 80s themed outfits encouraged!

https://luma.com/lkea8e33

October Bookstore Crawl- Bushwick (I promise it's worth the schlep!)

https://luma.com/bpvr7nef

As always- let me know if you have any questions and in the meantime, happy book hunting!

Wouldst thou like to live…deliciously? Guide thy hand to THESE STICKERS!!!!

At LPOTL HQ, we’ve been blown away by your enthusiasm for Last Press on the Left. We knew you guys were cool, but we didn’t know it was like that. Thank you for consigning your soul to the pledge of making books and supporting authors.

Our first title, Saint’s Hotel, is currently in production… it’s cooking… baking at 833°—it’s piping hot! But it’s not ready for consumption yet. Book publishing moves slooooowly, and we know that’s a long time to wait for some Last Press goodies. Hence: stickers.

Now, you don’t even have to talk to people to show them that you’re not illiterate. You can just point them to the sticker on your THERMOS, or your laptop, or wherever. They go with everything!

Again, it’s for a good cause. LPOTL’s share goes to Reading is Fundamental. Bindery’s share goes into the publishing imprint so we can produce more sick tomes.

If you don’t have a sticker, how will people know that you’re in a cult?!?!?!

HAIL BOOKS!

—LPOTL (and the Last Press HQ hellspawn)

What are the books you go back to when you’re in a reading slump or need a comforting read? and Why? What makes it your comfort book?

It could be your favorite book or a book that means a lot to you. Drop them in the comments and I might just read yours in an video!

Here’s your weekly round-up of brand new, progressive-leaning romances that you may not have seen on your Instagram feed. If I’ve omitted a title you feel passionate about and think this community will enjoy, please do share it in the comments. Reminder that I haven't read any of these titles yet, so this isn't an official endorsement unless noted. Click through to read the post on Bindery for my full commentary.

The Court of Venus by Bel Banta (Tor) — Bel is an extraordinarily talented writer and I cannot wait to read her romantasy debut. I beta’ed the first hundred pages because we are agent siblings, and I have been ferociously wanting the rest of The Court of Venus ever since. The vibes are Tudor-inspired court intrigue with an astrology-based magic system and a murder mystery. And of course a rivals-to-lovers yearning romance between Bianca and Roland. If you're at her launch tonight at the Ripped Bodice, come say hi!

Happily Ever Afterlife by Emma R. Alban (Alcove) — Finally y’all can read the hot ghost mom sapphic romance I’ve been yelling about for months! New Yorkers, get your copy signed and meet the author on Wednesday night when I interview her at the Ripped Bodice.

Take a Chance, Sasha Sinclair by Ashley Herring Blake (Berkley) — The final book in the Clover Lake trilogy follows fan-favorite Sasha to an Occult-themed amusement park to film a documentary. The marketing copy gives off Astrid Parker vibes, arguably my favorite AHB heroine, so I’m locked in. Get in the mood by listening to my conversation with Ashley from January.

The Twelve Loves of Christmas: An Advent Romance Collection (Atria) — Holiday short stories written by a stacked lineup of romance authors: Alexandria Bellefleur, Elise Bryant, Olivia Dade, Alexis Daria, Sarah Hogle, Zakiya N. Jamal, Rebecca Jenshak, Jessica Joyce, Susan Lee, Joss Richard, M. A. Wardell and Rebekah Weatherspoon. 

From Beijing, With Love by Bei Lin (Alcove) This debut romance by Chinese-Canadian author Lin sounds gorgeous. Fresh off a breakup and a work disaster, Daniel Wu flies impulsively to Beijing to visit his friend Poppy… who isn’t home. She signs him for a tour of the Great Wall to keep him busy, where he meets PhD student/tour guide Yang Li. Sparks fly! 

Spellstruck by Martha Waters (Atria) — I like this micro genre of magical/romantasy stories set in specific time periods. Spellstruck takes place in a 1920s speakeasy in London that blends potions with cocktails despite a magic ban. Waters is the established hist-rom author of books including To Have and To Hoax and To Love and To Loathe.

Once a Golden Boy by J.R. Barker (indie) — A soapy Hollywood fake dating MM romance with a stunning cover, holy moly. 

The Darkness Bites Back by Laura R. Samotin & Ben Alderson (Angry Robot) — An MM vampire retelling of Romeo & Juliet set at modern-day Oxford, pitched for fans of Interview With the Vampire and Saltburn.

IF YOU ARE IN NYC  — Please come to my romance read-in to benefit Authors Against Book Bans on Monday night!

We have a ton of tickets left. You'll get to meet Joanna Shupe, Shelly Jay Shore, Zakiya N. Jamal and Blair Fell, plus me and Katherine Grant. We'll be raffling off a ton of romance novels, and everyone gets a free zine about censorship and passion. Use the code REBEL for 15% off. Tell your friends!!

Happy Tuesday, mis internet amigxs!

It's the final Tuesday of September and this week's releases are STACKED! Before we get to the books, thought, we need to get some announcements and December book club poll out of the way first!

LAST CALL FOR T-SHIRTS!

Bien Leidos Book Club t-shirt sales close on September 30th. While the pink crop top sample, may not be for everybody, there are t-shirts, hoodies, and a myriad of styles and colors available. You can see many styles and colors in this post. 10% of proceeds of shirts sold will go to the ILRC!

LAST CALL FOR SEPTEMBER BOOK CLUB

We will be closing out the chat for The Grand Paloma Resort by Cleyvis Natera on October 1st on Discord.

NONFICTION SIDEQUEST CONTINUES

We continue reading the Latinx Guide to Liberation by Vanessa Pezo (audiobook). This has been one of the softest and gentlest reads of the year.

OCTOBER/NOVEMBER BOOK CLUB ANNOUNCEMENT

On October 1st, we begin reading You Should Have Been Nicer to My Mom by Vincent Tirado (audiobook). So excited to read this gothic with you all.

Also, our November Book Club selection has been finalized! We'll be reading Beginning Middle End by Valeria Luiselli (audiobook). If you don't want to give a click to the New York Times and their racist article about the diversity of the National Book Awards, I've gotchu.

POLL FOR DECEMBER BOOK CLUB

Thinking about trying something new for December. See poll at the bottom of this post.

SUPPORT BIEN LEIDOS

Your financial support as a Lectores or Libritos members brings us closer to becoming our own Bindery imprint and helps support my work outside of Heritage Months. Please consider supporting the work I do here every work, month and year.

And finally....September 29th Latine Releases!

Young Adult Gothic

The House Of Gardenias by Isabel Canas (Audiobook)

Young Adult

When the World Was Happy by Benjamin Alire Saenz (Audiobook)

Rainbow Boys by Alex Sanchez (Audiobook)

Horror Anthology

Something Followed Us Home Edited by Cynthia Pelayo (Audiobook)

Literary Fiction

Ply by Hernan Diaz (Audiobook)

King of Aloe Vera by Tomas Moniz Adult (Audiobook)

Young Adult Graphic Novel

Second Generation Blues by Julio Anto and illustrated by Red Dryer

Memoir

Work In Progress by Devon Rodriguez (Audiobook)

xo,

Carmen

I recently finished the audiobook to She's a Doll by Barbara Truelove. The story centers feminine rage and friendship with a cheeky horror revenge plot. In addition to it being a superb novel and audio production, I couldn't help but notice features that felt like a warm hug to my disabled self.

In the words of the late Alice Wong, disability justice activist and warrior, "Disabled people know what it means to be vulnerable and interdependent. We are modern-day oracles." The supporting character, Nicola, embodies the oracle in this novel. Her disability aid is the reason she is able to hear and subsequently help Lucy's unrestful soul. Truelove's ingenious application of the disabled oracle principle to this pivotal point in the plot made for great reflection material on the nature of disability and how it shows up in fiction.

There are time-jump and time-freeze sequences in this novel that actually made me feel like I was a mosquito trapped in amber, helpless to the whims of Lucy's emotional dysregulation. This was a powerful representation of the daily highs and lows many disabled folks feel as a result of chronic pain, mental health episodes, and lack of support from loved ones and systems.

The descriptions of Lucy's use of her new doll limbs simulated the way I feel when I'm having a particularly bad rheumatoid flare. Her journey into accepting and working with her new body is hard-won and painful, but so rewarding in the end.

Most importantly, this novel is an ode to survivors. Gender-based violence and disability are inextricably linked, and Lucy's character is a compelling representation of this. I hope every survivor who picks up this book takes care of themselves (first and foremost) while also feeling the bubbling joy for Lucy's pursuit of justice. Justice looks different for everyone, so I find joy in characters who find theirs.

She's a Doll is the perfect horror novel for all of us this upcoming scary season!

Thank you to Harper Voyager, and HarperAudio for the ARC/ALC. Here is my genuine review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️

🌶️? (One scene, not terribly graphic but still open door)

Audra has two conflicting prophecies and her decision will have major ramifications.

I enjoyed the story that focused heavily on dark academia, classes, “trials”, magic struggles, etc. It is not heavy on romantic elements, really doesn’t get there until the end.

I think this book would be great for those who love a dark academia, fae, magic systems, chosen one, conflicting prophecies/destinies, demon/underworld, and not everything is at it seems. This is a dual narration (not a duet), so while you get two POVs, you mainly only get Audra’s.

However, and it PAINS me to say this as someone who fell in LOVE with the cover, helped with the cover reveal and looked forward to the release — this book didn’t do it for me.

I loved the author’s previous work (Lore of the Wilds and Lore of the Tides) but this fell flat for me. While I appreciate the beginning of the story, it’s like her “previous” life / backstory doesn’t matter as the story went on.

There was a TON of inner dialogue that made me feel like the pace of the novel was very slow and dragged along. While I appreciate going on Audra’s journey, I failed to be wholly captivated.

The romantic element seems lackluster to me. I do NOT need smut to enjoy romance, so that’s not the problem, I feel as if their “attraction” happened so late in the book that it didn’t get much attention to be fleshed out (Read: I was not given enough interactions to be invested or believe in this unconventional romance).

I almost DNF’d but after seeing SO MANY people enjoy the advanced copy, and from encouragement from friends, I decided to press through. Unfortunately, by 50% I really wasn’t interested and I never gained a spark back as I completed the book (no seriously, this pains me more than you know to say this but I have to be honest and probably be the odd person out).

I do STRONGLY encourage those who are interested to pick up this book ASAP. I think I am an anomaly in my thoughts. Many of my mutuals were OBSESSED and absolutely GAGGED at the end (I was not).

Thank you Harper Voyager, Analeigh Sbrana (and NetGalley platform) for allowing me to read this advance copy. I appreciate it and will still recommend this book to the right reader.

Our Sister’s Keeper Review

Our Sister’s Keeper is a wonderfully woven  historical fiction that shows the impact on women for the sake of men’s peace and to lessen their burdens. Specifically, Black women, (known as carriers) taking on the burdens of Black men to give them the same opportunities as white men. 

This story not only highlights racism but also patriarchy. It feels as if in this world to be a Black woman you have two strikes against you. You’re less than to the whites and to the men. 

Dual POV — Marah and Thea 

Timeline jumps — at first seems irrelevant but plays an integral part in storytelling. 

Overall I really enjoyed the book and highly recommend everyone to read it! I am honestly surprised it took me so long but I am so glad I got to it 

A few things that stuck out to me and will stay with me long after the read: 

There there, I’m here. 

Let YOURSELF go. 

Husband > You 

Women who want more die, there’s safety in settling. 

The earth carries our burdens 

We sowed our pain into the soil 

Hey, y'all! We were able to file the LLC today, so one step closer to being able to list our own books on our own website!

If you'd like to contribute to the assumed business name filing (which is approximately $250), please do so by visiting the link our home page!

It'll take 10 business days for the secretary of state's office to process the LLC application, but we're getting there!

Till next time!

-Ryn